I confess I have been short tempered and have yelled at my children more than once. This is not something I am proud of whatsoever. I actually hate this about myself. I know that when I slip into this behavior I am walking in my flesh and it is rearing its very ugly head.
I want to be gentle, kind, compassionate, patient and overall loving with my children. I want to include my children in all that I do, teaching them as I go about this life we are living, about our Jesus, about the men and women we are training them to be. But I realize most of this is done by my example and my own life, rather than my words.
I began to contemplate what it was that usually pushed me over the edge to be ugly towards the children. The main thing I found was that I set MY goal for the day, and if anyone gets in my way (namely anyone under 5 feet tall), they better watch out!
In a sense I had put running my household over loving my children. Oh what a wretched woman I am! Though the goal of having all our chores done by the time that daddy gets home is a good one; it should not ruin my day and make me short with the little ones God has put me in charge of if it does not get done.
My husband is not a tyrant who expects everything to be perfect when he walks through the door. Just the opposite actually...he is kind, compassionate and patient with me. He is understanding as well. I do want to do my best for him and have everything done, but he is okay with it if I have to do the meal plan after we eat dinner. Or if I have to put the laundry away while he is holding the baby. Why do I put so much pressure on myself? Its definitely not coming from him!
I also have found that when I am pursuing my selfish pleasures, whether talking on the phone, reading or writing blogs for example I tend to become more impatient with what is going on around me. I have to really discipline myself to when I can do these things, not that any of them are inherently bad, but if I cannot control myself while doing them...I need to limit myself until I can.
So this week I have made a conscience decision to slow down throughout my day. I still have my goals of what needs to get done, but if they are not done and a child wants me to hold them for a minute for a cuddle...that is what I do for that moment. Slow it down so that the children can work by my side rather than me do it all where I think I can do it "faster & better".
It has been a MUCH better week praise God! I have not gotten angry or short with my children which has made our home a much happier place to be.
I know I have so much growing up to do. I want to do it immediately, but unfortunately I know it doesn't work that way. One step at a time with the help of Jesus. I pray my children will be protected while their mommy is learning how to mother well.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Thursday, January 22, 2009
An Award
Wow! What a delight to stop by one of my favorite blogs at A Full Heart and see she had awarded me with an award...totally made my day! So now I get to pass it on which will be just as fun as I have so enjoyed reading, learning and being encouraged by these blogs! Thank you Erin :)
Pursuing Titus 2
Aspiring to Simplicity
Psalm 118:24
The Hughes Mob
I'm Not Super Mom
Mr. Mom
I woke up yesterday feeling just awful, body hurting, head pounding, cough, not being able to breathe etc. So I confess after Ireland fed the children breakfast and they got dressed, I let PBS babysit them. That way they could be in the same room with me, yet still not get into any trouble and I wouldn't have to get out of bed.
My dear sweet husband called to check on me around 10a.m. and after hearing had bad I felt he decided to come home early. What an amazing man I have! Even with how busy he was at work he still thought of me and his children as more important. I was so so appreciative! He brought us lunch and told me to get in bed and rest.
I did just that with little Noble and we napped till about 3. Mark cooked, cared for the children and cleaned while I was resting which was so nice to not have to worry about it. We enjoyed a delicious dinner and went back to bed for the rest of the night.
Needless to say after a wonderful nights sleep and all the wonderful rest from yesterday, I feel SO much better today! I still have the yucky symptoms, but I can at least function.
All thanks to my dear husband who cared enough to leave his place of work to take care of his family. Thank you hon! :)
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Sicklings
Well last Thursday night Caleb woke up with his croupy cough, the third time since he had it first when I was six months pregnant. Anytime you watch your child struggle to breathe is not something that is very enjoyable. But we gave him the last of the steroid we had from the first time he had croup, so that help him get back to sleep after many tears.
I decided Friday to take him to the doctor that my midwife had referred us to since I didn't have anything else to give him if he had another episode that night, and I definitely did not want to have to take him to an urgent care place over the weekend.
The doctor got us in and was very helpful. Confirmed it was croup and explained that some kids get it and some don't. Looks like Caleb is one that does. So he prescribed me enough steroid to last a couple of years so when it comes back, I do not have to bring him in. Very nice of him considering each visit costs us $65 (no insurance).
The visit was also very nice as it was the third time in Calebs life since he had been to a doctor. The first was when he was 6 months old with a sinus infection that had gotten really bad...that was when the doctor told us we could not ever come back unless we had him vaccinated. Obviously, we did not go back to that doctor.
The second time was when he got croup seven months ago which Caleb did not take very well. He was absolutely scared to death...a very stressful situation for all involved!
So this time, I was a bit apprehensive to his reaction and hoping he'd handle it better. First of all I loved how the doctor did not blink an eye when he asked for his shot records and I told him we had none. He even had an article posted in his office questioning the HPV vaccine. So I'm thinking he knows more than most pediatricians know about the dangers of vaccines, and that he respects the parents decisions. That was a plus for sure!
Caleb did great during the exam as I had talked him through it all before we went. I was SO PROUD of him!
Today the rest of us are sick...just colds though. Even little Noble is not feeling well which is always sad. I am having one of those days feeling like my head is not attached to my body, with lots of whiny, tired and sickly children praying for this day to end soon!
I decided Friday to take him to the doctor that my midwife had referred us to since I didn't have anything else to give him if he had another episode that night, and I definitely did not want to have to take him to an urgent care place over the weekend.
The doctor got us in and was very helpful. Confirmed it was croup and explained that some kids get it and some don't. Looks like Caleb is one that does. So he prescribed me enough steroid to last a couple of years so when it comes back, I do not have to bring him in. Very nice of him considering each visit costs us $65 (no insurance).
The visit was also very nice as it was the third time in Calebs life since he had been to a doctor. The first was when he was 6 months old with a sinus infection that had gotten really bad...that was when the doctor told us we could not ever come back unless we had him vaccinated. Obviously, we did not go back to that doctor.
The second time was when he got croup seven months ago which Caleb did not take very well. He was absolutely scared to death...a very stressful situation for all involved!
So this time, I was a bit apprehensive to his reaction and hoping he'd handle it better. First of all I loved how the doctor did not blink an eye when he asked for his shot records and I told him we had none. He even had an article posted in his office questioning the HPV vaccine. So I'm thinking he knows more than most pediatricians know about the dangers of vaccines, and that he respects the parents decisions. That was a plus for sure!
Caleb did great during the exam as I had talked him through it all before we went. I was SO PROUD of him!
Today the rest of us are sick...just colds though. Even little Noble is not feeling well which is always sad. I am having one of those days feeling like my head is not attached to my body, with lots of whiny, tired and sickly children praying for this day to end soon!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
I'm Convinced
Okay, so sorry to those who are bored with the topic of EC...this will probably be the last post for awhile on this topic. But I just cannot get over how wonderful it is and how it is all of the sudden making complete sense to me.
I know many people say as I used to be one, "it's really the mom who is toilet trained, not the baby". Though you could also say that about diapering, that it is training the mother to change diapers (as well as training the baby to defecate in a diaper, thus sitting in it...yuck!).
I truly do not think it is only the mom who is trained due to the fact that after a while, the baby will prefer to use the potty and think it uncomfortable to do it on themselves in a diaper. The baby will also learn the special word, or sound that mom makes while pottying to know that it is time to "let go".
One point I read in the Infant Potty Training book was that the babies truly do have control over their sphincter muscles. If they did not, they would constantly be peeing and pooping as soon as it entered into the bladder/bowels. But they do not! They choose when to let it go...and if we do not train them when or how to go, of course they will do it on themselves.
Another point they mentioned was how we expect children of 2 yrs of age to be able to run, walk, speak and a variety of other social skills, though we do not expect them to be able to control a couple of muscles that control their bladder. That doesn't make sense to me! It makes sense that a child has been "trained" to go in their diaper, so when it's "time" for them to go in the potty, they are not comfortable with it and do not know yet how to associate the relaxing those muscles in time with going on the potty. Hmmm....
We went diaperless last night while sleeping as suggested in the book, saying that when they are used to going during the night and being wet, it tends to be harder for children to stop going at night as they grow. That made sense to me as most know that night time wetting is usually the last thing to stop.
Anyways, no diaper last night! We slept with a towel and a diaper underneath us, plus a diaper between us in case he did let a stream go so I wouldn't get wet. When he started squirming around and fussing around 2a.m. & 5a.m. (which normally I would give him the breast to calm him down), we got up and I stood at my bathroom sink with a nightlight on while he peed in the sink!
So his squirming and fussing was a cue to me saying "I have to use the potty!". I used the sink so I wouldn't have to squat while putting him on the potty and I don't think he would have liked sitting on the potty while half asleep...relaxing in my arms was much more comfy!
This was about a 2 minute process total and we got back in bed and went right asleep! Besides peeing in the sink...he stayed dry all night long! I am completely shocked! I'm happy about this also due to the fact that overnight diapers tend to irritate my sons penis by the morning...always looks very red and painful. This hasn't happened with Noble yet, but with Caleb it did once he began eating and drinking other things besides mother's milk. So I expected it to happen with Noble (since I didn't change his dipe in the middle of the night). Now I do not think it has to happen if we take a potty visit when he stirs.
Plus, he may not need it once he quits nursing throughout the night. I think that was the main reason he had to pee twice since he does nurse through the night. I figured since I normally wake up when he stirs and fusses at night to put him to the breast, it's not hard to get up, walk a couple of steps, let him pee, then back in bed!
One more piece of great news! Since True has been watching Noble use the potty, she is now using it as well and actually doing her "business" their...I am so so excited!
This truly is saving me time as the time it takes to sit him on the potty would be the same as changing a diaper (1-2 minutes a time). Also when I used to wash dipes every two days, my diaper pail is not even half way full since I washed it on Monday (3 days ago!).
One quote from the book (which I think every mom who's interested in this should read) that convinced me that this is the right track for us was...
"A motto of some mothers using elimination communition is that it is more about the communication than the elimination. They are not striving to "finish" earlier than other babies but are instead simply taking care of their babies' needs "in the moment". Just as they do not breastfeed with the goal of weaning their babies as soon as possible, so they do not potty their infants with the goals of having them "trained" as soon as possible."
I am definitely enjoying the communication part of this...I feel more of a bond with him as I am tuning into his cues for using the potty. The same way we as mothers can tell when our baby is crying due to hunger, being tired, bored, or tired of sitting in a dirty diaper...I am learning to tell his cues that he wants to potty! Then I get the pleasure of helping him do that in a comfortable and cleaner way.
LOVING IT!
I know many people say as I used to be one, "it's really the mom who is toilet trained, not the baby". Though you could also say that about diapering, that it is training the mother to change diapers (as well as training the baby to defecate in a diaper, thus sitting in it...yuck!).
I truly do not think it is only the mom who is trained due to the fact that after a while, the baby will prefer to use the potty and think it uncomfortable to do it on themselves in a diaper. The baby will also learn the special word, or sound that mom makes while pottying to know that it is time to "let go".
One point I read in the Infant Potty Training book was that the babies truly do have control over their sphincter muscles. If they did not, they would constantly be peeing and pooping as soon as it entered into the bladder/bowels. But they do not! They choose when to let it go...and if we do not train them when or how to go, of course they will do it on themselves.
Another point they mentioned was how we expect children of 2 yrs of age to be able to run, walk, speak and a variety of other social skills, though we do not expect them to be able to control a couple of muscles that control their bladder. That doesn't make sense to me! It makes sense that a child has been "trained" to go in their diaper, so when it's "time" for them to go in the potty, they are not comfortable with it and do not know yet how to associate the relaxing those muscles in time with going on the potty. Hmmm....
We went diaperless last night while sleeping as suggested in the book, saying that when they are used to going during the night and being wet, it tends to be harder for children to stop going at night as they grow. That made sense to me as most know that night time wetting is usually the last thing to stop.
Anyways, no diaper last night! We slept with a towel and a diaper underneath us, plus a diaper between us in case he did let a stream go so I wouldn't get wet. When he started squirming around and fussing around 2a.m. & 5a.m. (which normally I would give him the breast to calm him down), we got up and I stood at my bathroom sink with a nightlight on while he peed in the sink!
So his squirming and fussing was a cue to me saying "I have to use the potty!". I used the sink so I wouldn't have to squat while putting him on the potty and I don't think he would have liked sitting on the potty while half asleep...relaxing in my arms was much more comfy!
This was about a 2 minute process total and we got back in bed and went right asleep! Besides peeing in the sink...he stayed dry all night long! I am completely shocked! I'm happy about this also due to the fact that overnight diapers tend to irritate my sons penis by the morning...always looks very red and painful. This hasn't happened with Noble yet, but with Caleb it did once he began eating and drinking other things besides mother's milk. So I expected it to happen with Noble (since I didn't change his dipe in the middle of the night). Now I do not think it has to happen if we take a potty visit when he stirs.
Plus, he may not need it once he quits nursing throughout the night. I think that was the main reason he had to pee twice since he does nurse through the night. I figured since I normally wake up when he stirs and fusses at night to put him to the breast, it's not hard to get up, walk a couple of steps, let him pee, then back in bed!
One more piece of great news! Since True has been watching Noble use the potty, she is now using it as well and actually doing her "business" their...I am so so excited!
This truly is saving me time as the time it takes to sit him on the potty would be the same as changing a diaper (1-2 minutes a time). Also when I used to wash dipes every two days, my diaper pail is not even half way full since I washed it on Monday (3 days ago!).
One quote from the book (which I think every mom who's interested in this should read) that convinced me that this is the right track for us was...
"A motto of some mothers using elimination communition is that it is more about the communication than the elimination. They are not striving to "finish" earlier than other babies but are instead simply taking care of their babies' needs "in the moment". Just as they do not breastfeed with the goal of weaning their babies as soon as possible, so they do not potty their infants with the goals of having them "trained" as soon as possible."
I am definitely enjoying the communication part of this...I feel more of a bond with him as I am tuning into his cues for using the potty. The same way we as mothers can tell when our baby is crying due to hunger, being tired, bored, or tired of sitting in a dirty diaper...I am learning to tell his cues that he wants to potty! Then I get the pleasure of helping him do that in a comfortable and cleaner way.
LOVING IT!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Quick & Easy
I have been keeping Noble diaper-less this past week since starting EC and had been trying to think of a solution to keep his legs warm, since it is a pain to pull down his pants or unbutton his shirt to put him on the potty. I remembered seeing baby legwarmers on a diapering website and searched for them, only to see that they ran between $10 - $15 a pair!
After looking a bit more, I found a site that had instructions on how to make them. I am thrilled with how they turned out! I bought the ladies knee highs at Target for $3.50 a pair, then made them six pairs within 45 minutes.
They are too cute on his legs with his cute little bottom free. I'm thinking it has to be more comfortable than the bulk he is used to between his legs!
Great idea for gifts I'm thinking as well since they are really cute!
I'll put a picture of Noble in them once I actually put a diaper on him so he's not exposed online! :)
After looking a bit more, I found a site that had instructions on how to make them. I am thrilled with how they turned out! I bought the ladies knee highs at Target for $3.50 a pair, then made them six pairs within 45 minutes.
They are too cute on his legs with his cute little bottom free. I'm thinking it has to be more comfortable than the bulk he is used to between his legs!
Great idea for gifts I'm thinking as well since they are really cute!
They started like this...
And ended like this...
I'll put a picture of Noble in them once I actually put a diaper on him so he's not exposed online! :)
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Day 2 of EC
I started the infant potty training yesterday and today, just 3 minutes ago Noble just peed in the potty for the first time! I can't even get my 2 yr old to do that! I am so so excited! My friend Alina Joy lent me the book "Infant Potty Training" by Laurie Boucke and it has really encouraged me to do this for sure. I haven't finished it yet but can definitely say I'd recommend it to anyone who it might be thinking of this for yourself. Now that I am seeing reasons that I agree with and forming my own convictions about it, I think I'll be able to stick it through.
Before I thought that the time it took would be more than the time it takes to diaper. Though in the beginning I think it will as I am very closely watching him (without a diaper) to learn his signals and cues and his timing. But after a few days of this, I think it will take the same or less amount of time than diapering. Considering changing dipes every few hours and the time it takes washing, drying every two days. We'll see?
Since I am all about training our children as they grow (not that I am perfect at it), now I see that with diapering I am training my child to get used to sitting in wetness (yuck!) and use their diaper as their potty. Why not skip that part of training and choose something that they'll have to learn either way, now or later - using the potty!
This is actually pretty fun because I am enjoying being closer to little baby Noble as I learn his cues. And what a sense of accomplishment when I sat him on the potty after his nap, made the 'pssss' noise that I make when he normally pees (all over me), and then he starts going in the potty where it belongs. AMAZING!! :)
It is also interesting to see that he has relatively specific times when he goes, after nap, 10 - 15 min after eating, then an hour again after eating. I used to think he just went all day long with no rhyme or reason. So its nice to find out that he actually does not go while he is napping, nor while he eats.
Maybe this will encourage True to use the potty herself now that she sees her baby brother using it? That would be nice for sure!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
My Wonderful Friends
(Eva Noble & me)The most unexpected way this year was meeting like minded women through blogging, then becoming "bloggy" friends. It has been such a neat thing considering this season of my life I do not have much time to go out, or even to talk on the phone. Most of my friends from church live at least 40 minutes away, so that takes out much of spending time with them during the week. But meeting these women online who share many of the same convictions as me and are huge encouragements through their writings and personal emails where we can share the load praying for each other has been a huge blessing from God! I have learned so much from these ladies and only wish we lived closer...though I'm content with knowing I'll meet them someday in the new Heaven and new earth! :)
God has also blessed me with being able to stay friends with ladies I grew up with. Either reuniting me with my best friend from childhood (Shea), and seeing how we still have so much in common after more than 18 years being apart and still absolutely love each other. Of course I'd love it if we lived near each other as well, but for the time being I'll be content with the telephone and internet communication.
Or continuing a relationship with my best friend starting from age 14. Though Eva and I were not always best friends, our relationship has definitely grown and we've been through a lot over the years! I am so encouraged to see her begin to walk with Jesus and to desire to please him with her life. Though I miss her desperately while she's living in Wisconsin going to medical school, I always look forward to her visits during the holidays where we can sit and reminisce on old times or talk about what God is doing now or what we hope to see in the future. Those times are so precious to me!
Though we are still extremely different in many of our views, and she thinks I'm crazy most of the time...we still love each other and encourage one another, building each other up in Jesus by speaking the truth in love.
Not to mention all my other dear friends...Amy, Marlys, Beckie, my new friends Alina Joy, Brittany, Keica to name a few. All these women spur me on to be more like Jesus and to love my husband and children well. There are so many others that I'm sorry if I haven't mentioned you...know you all have such a special place in my heart!
Again, God loves giving us the desire of our hearts. So pray! Ask him to give you desires that match up with His and continue to pray for them. Prayer works!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Happy Anniversary!
Our dear friends Dick & Nell are celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary today!! We were blessed to be able to visit them before they moved to Arkansas after living here in Dallas for the past 42 years.
I am so thankful to have them still in our lives, for their prayers and encouragement as well. I am thankful for the generosity they showed to my mother when she was pregnant with me to open their home and let her live with them. To take care of me in my young years after school and to put many wonderful memories of care and love in my young mind.
I love you two so very much! We will miss your presence here in TX but am so thankful for the new season you will be able to enjoy in Arkansas! Happy Anniversary!
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