My whole life I have wanted to be liked by others. There was a short season in my life during childhood where I experienced just the opposite of that. Major feelings of rejection, disgust and just plain dis-like is what I went through during that time. Now I see it as a blessing as I now know how that feels and never want anyone I come into contact with feel that way because of my behavior. Thankfully that time of life was short and the rest of my days for the most part I received what I wanted, being loved and cared for by friends around me. Though as good and a blessing that was, I still used it not for God's glory, but to stroke my own self image of being a well liked person.
For the past almost nine years I have been walking steadily with Jesus. I stay "steadily" since the first 23 years or so of my life I knew Him, and had spurts of trying to live for Him, but it just never stuck. When I got what I wanted, or when something better (in my lowly opinion) came around, say a love interest or something to that nature...I quickly returned to what was the real me, a selfish and rebellious child.
These past nine years though have been truly life changing, coming to know my Lord Jesus Christ for myself, exposing my broken and selfish heart to His perfect love that is slowly but surely changing me. But what I am beginning to notice it that the more I follow Him and His ways, the more peculiar I am becoming. Where once I fit in with all sorts of people, could morph myself in a way to become like whomever I was with, I am finding out I can no longer do that. Whether we are talking about a party where foolishness is abounding, or in church where everyone is praising our Creator (though now thankfully I do not need to change myself to do that, as it is a joy and privilege to do so now!).
At times it makes me sad, because there is still that part in me that wants to be liked, and "fit in". There is still a part of me that detests being different. Those of you who have known me for many years probably have noticed this difference, which at times makes me very self conscience. The outward changes are pretty obvious, but hopefully the inward changes are as well. The old me loved to stand out, be noticed by my eccentricity's, but sometimes the new me just wants to fit in, though most of the time I do not.
Another thing I am noticing in the peculiarity in me is that what I have to say is usually not popular either. It is not what people want to hear, then I get condemned of being judgmental, or maybe old fashioned, religious and not loving. That really hurts as especially the people that I speak truth to are the ones I love the most. And know its not as if I am harping on every little sin there is in a persons life, or even that is the topic of conversation every time I'm speaking with someone. I strive to be Spirit led in when I say things to those I say them too.
There is a verse that I cannot find at the moment, but it say's something to the fact that if you know your brother/sister are sinning, and do not say anything about it to them, encouraging them to repent, you will be guilty maybe, or have a part in their sin, (if anyone knows this reference, please tell me!). So I know deep down that I am obeying God's Word when I say these truths though not popular or even well received, that they are not just coming from me and my opinions and I'm not being judgmental or condemning. Please know that I am not saying I am perfect either, I am more than willing to hear any loving rebuke in areas that I am sinning against God or others! And there are many areas in my life that need changing, just get to know me long enough and you'll see them!
When the differences get me down, or the accusations abound, I meditate on these verses...
Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Proverbs 27:6
I can know that I am truly being a friend when I tell a friend something that is not popular, I am not just telling what them just what they want to hear, or what will make them feel good at the moment. The enemy of our souls wants us to believe the lies he has planted in our lives, to accept the counterfeits that he has placed so that we cannot receive God's best for us...and he will use those friends and even people who we love to encourage us in that path, just as an "enemy multiplies kisses". Though of course I never want a friend to feel wounded by me when I am just trying to love them in the truth, I can rely on this verse to know I am truly being a friend and not their enemy.
But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. 1 Peter 2:9
So even if it gets me down at times, I will choose to Praise God, I am called to be peculiar! Praise God He called me out of the darkness I lived in for too many years and is allowing me and helping me to walk in His light...how absolutely amazing is that?! And I am not any more special that anybody reading this, He has done the same and desires the same just for you! Praise Him!
Monday, October 18, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Jesus
This morning while working through my daily chores, I was contemplating the death and resurrection of Jesus. How his disciples, after walking with him for three years and all the miracles and the many lives changed (their own included) they saw during that time...yet after they watched him die an excruciating death, they themselves went into hiding! They had heard Him say that He was the Son of God, that the Kingdom of God was here and now, that He would rise from the dead. But they still did not fully understand.
They were frightened, scared that they would be next to be murdered because they had been His disciples. So they hid and grieved the horrible, unjust death of the One they loved, the One they thought would free them from Rome and be their Messiah they had been waiting for their whole lives.
I'm sure you know the account, that they found His tomb empty three days later, then He came to them, showed them the nail holes in His hands, His feet and the hole in His side. Proof that He was real, not a ghost. He then appeared to a crowd of 500, I think so that their would be extra proof for those who might not believe the smaller number of His disciples who saw Him.
After that, and after they saw Him ascend to Heaven, they became completely different men than who they were before His resurrection. Bold, self-less, fearless of their lives and what people thought of them and what they said, now understanding what He meant as being the Savior of the world. They were completely changed by his death and resurrection, just as He continues to change those throughout the ages that believe as well. And I don't mean just believe, but believe and submit their whole lives to Him, as He calls us to.
These men who before were scared of dying, hiding after his death - all of them except for one died for His name. Murdered throughout the years all because of their wholehearted devotion and preaching that Jesus is the Messiah. I do not believe that any of them would ever had done that if He had not been raised from the dead. They probably would have continued to stay in hiding until things died down in Jerusalem, then would have disbanded and found yet another great rabbi to sit under...or even just gone back to their trades? There is absolutely no reason to serve Him, and believe in Him and what He said unless He had been raised from the grave, which praise God He did and is alive!
Lovingly I say if you have never sought out who Jesus say's He was, please do it! You really have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. Do not be like our culture or even other religions that say He was a great man and teacher. C.S. Lewis sums that way of thinking up nicely here...
"I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept his claim to be God. That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic — on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God, but let us not come with any patronising nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to. ... Now it seems to me obvious that He was neither a lunatic nor a fiend: and consequently, however strange or terrifying or unlikely it may seem, I have to accept the view that He was and is God." (1.)
Some recommended reading if you are interested in finding out about Him yourself.
1. The gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke or John)
2. Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis
3. The Case for Christ, Lee Strobel
Those are some on the top of my head, there is still plenty more out there if you are serious in your search. Feel free to contact me for other recommendations if need be!
1. Lewis, C.S., Mere Christianity, London: Collins, 1952, p54-56.
They were frightened, scared that they would be next to be murdered because they had been His disciples. So they hid and grieved the horrible, unjust death of the One they loved, the One they thought would free them from Rome and be their Messiah they had been waiting for their whole lives.
I'm sure you know the account, that they found His tomb empty three days later, then He came to them, showed them the nail holes in His hands, His feet and the hole in His side. Proof that He was real, not a ghost. He then appeared to a crowd of 500, I think so that their would be extra proof for those who might not believe the smaller number of His disciples who saw Him.
After that, and after they saw Him ascend to Heaven, they became completely different men than who they were before His resurrection. Bold, self-less, fearless of their lives and what people thought of them and what they said, now understanding what He meant as being the Savior of the world. They were completely changed by his death and resurrection, just as He continues to change those throughout the ages that believe as well. And I don't mean just believe, but believe and submit their whole lives to Him, as He calls us to.
These men who before were scared of dying, hiding after his death - all of them except for one died for His name. Murdered throughout the years all because of their wholehearted devotion and preaching that Jesus is the Messiah. I do not believe that any of them would ever had done that if He had not been raised from the dead. They probably would have continued to stay in hiding until things died down in Jerusalem, then would have disbanded and found yet another great rabbi to sit under...or even just gone back to their trades? There is absolutely no reason to serve Him, and believe in Him and what He said unless He had been raised from the grave, which praise God He did and is alive!
Lovingly I say if you have never sought out who Jesus say's He was, please do it! You really have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. Do not be like our culture or even other religions that say He was a great man and teacher. C.S. Lewis sums that way of thinking up nicely here...
"I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept his claim to be God. That is the one thing we must not say. A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic — on the level with the man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse. You can shut him up for a fool, you can spit at him and kill him as a demon or you can fall at his feet and call him Lord and God, but let us not come with any patronising nonsense about his being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to. ... Now it seems to me obvious that He was neither a lunatic nor a fiend: and consequently, however strange or terrifying or unlikely it may seem, I have to accept the view that He was and is God." (1.)
Some recommended reading if you are interested in finding out about Him yourself.
1. The gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke or John)
2. Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis
3. The Case for Christ, Lee Strobel
Those are some on the top of my head, there is still plenty more out there if you are serious in your search. Feel free to contact me for other recommendations if need be!
1. Lewis, C.S., Mere Christianity, London: Collins, 1952, p54-56.
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